Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
now i know why i became what i already was.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
