he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just want to make out with him forever
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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