i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
