I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
