My liver just broke up with me...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
