She said her name was "party"
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You took a bar mat shot.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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