you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
