Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
last night I used snow as a chaser
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
