Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
