I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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