She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
