i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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