I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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