i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
operation harelip BJ is a go
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Randomize
