Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Randomize
