Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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