i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
