The maid of honor just puked.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
