You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
operation harelip BJ is a go
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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