I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
