You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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