I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
