My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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