We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
