The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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