Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
