All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
