I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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