Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
