im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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