Can Purell be used as lube?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
