Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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