Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
