is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
