me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
