i was rollin on her like bob the builder
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
