The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
