She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
