You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
