yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
