Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
