Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
