**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
