hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
