im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
