After last night, I could never be a politician.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
