Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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