Me too!
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
