Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
