Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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