Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
