How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
