My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
